Back in the 18th century a humble page visits a jeweller's shop. "So lets get this straight. You say Prince Charming wants a golden dildo, 10 centimeters in girth and 40 centimeters in length and encrusted with diamonds?" Buttoni, Prince Charming's page looked at the jeweller and nodded, "Indeed," he agreed.
"Well we're right out of stock at present squire," the jeweller admitted, "We got ivory and glass, bronze even, but gold with diamonds, well sorry squire, but there's no demand." "His highness says he will have you killed if you will not supply one," Buttoni suggested.
"Fair enough, how does Thursday sound?" "Why not today?" Buttoni. "Got to make a mould squire, can't just pour molten gold down some poor Slovack's ass hole anymore, health and safety see?" the jeweller complained "Are you sure you are a jeweller and not the village idiot?" Buttoni asked. "Lord no sir, last year I come third in the village idiot contest, but I'm training hard for next year." The jeweller anya krey hot maid cleans her pussy a time waster when he saw one and Buttoni was a prime example.
Everyone knew he was Prince Charming's love bitch. Prince Boris or 'Prince Charming,' as they called him. Pretty as a peacock, bent as a corkscrew.
Everyone knew. All the ladies loved him but he preferred taking it up the ass. "When can I expect your master to come so I can make a mould?" the jeweller asked. "It's for a woman you dog!" Buttoni sighed. "I can do you a good glass one for twenty five Florins," the jeweller offered, "The slipper we calls it on account of it being so smooth that it slips in easily. "The glass slipper." "Why so cheap?" Buttoni asked. "Second hand, was the wife's mothers, cunt like a bucket, it just needs a bit of a clean." "Done!" Buttoni cried not realising he had been done as the glass was actually made as an apprentice piece and twice the size of any other.
================================================ Buttoni rushed back to the palace. He liked his job as page but he was not too keen on people thinking he was Charming's lover. The Prince was not gay, he was just shy with girls with a talent for saying the wrong thing and when the time came either he couldn't get it up or he got too excited and came in his pants.
He was ok in the whorehause but back in 1750 marrying a whore was generally considered to be a bad move for the Royal Family PR wise.
"Your Highness!" he blustered, "I have just had this great idea." "Not again," Prince Charming sighed, "What is it this time? Invade Russia, Dig a tunnel, build a glider in the loft, slay a dragon?" "A ball!" Buttoni cried, "Hold a ball!" "Baseball, Tennis ball?" Charming asked.
"No a dance, a big dance, a masked ball, invite all the eligible wenches," Buttoni suggested. "Mother tried that," Charming remembered, "I spent the evening hiding in the loo!" "But this time we say you met your true love and she left a love token and you have to find her!" Buttoni enthused.
"And what sort of token?" Charming asked. "Her glass dildo!" Buttoni chuckled, "Look!" Charming looked, he thought it was a large bottle of schnapps Buttoni was carrying until he saw the shape. "You have got to be kidding!" he gasped as he saw the monster, "Wow, can you imagine those spoilt pampered simpering frigid bitches Mother tries to palm me off with with that monster inside them!" "Exactly!" Buttoni agreed as he surreptitiously tried to adjust his pants as his cock swelled at the thought of it.
"And struggling to get the monster inside their tight pink hairless cunts!" Buttoni suggested. "And hairy ones Buttoni!" the Prince added. "Actually it gets even better," Buttoni chuckled. "It's called a "Glass Slipper!" "Actually," Charming thought aloud, "With the right PR we can forget about having a ball, we'll say it happened at the last masked ball!" "And you'll marry the girl it fits?" Buttoni suggested.
"If she's pretty!" Charming laughed, "But seriously . "So shall we?" Buttoni asked hopefully "High five!" Charming agreed.
"We will say I babe shows off her beautiful body mavenhouse my true love at the masked ball and she lost her Glass Slipper," Charming explained to his mother and father over breakfast, "And whosoever it fits I shall marry." "Run the costings past my people and we'll get back to you," King Harald suggested.
"It is pocket money father not capital account," Charming lied. "Capital, I mean excellent!" King Harald cried, "I'm sick and tired of people thinking there's something wrong with you." =================================================== They put a small ad in the Bayerisch Bugle the teen slut knows how to please a dick in doggystyle free ads news sheet and opened a small shop on Munchen street with a waiting area and a cubicle with a bed.
Buttoni and Charming waited. Charming had disguised himself by wearing a peasant's smock, though the thigh length black leather boots with gold buckles sort of gave the game away. "Hello, I think I might be the girl he's looking for?" Helga one of the whores from Madame L'Oiseaux's establishment stated boldly.
"Indeed,come through. I am Buttoni valet to Prince Charming and this is my assistant Dumbkoph," Buttoni explained as he indicated Prince Charming sitting there in disguise. "Is this yours my dear?" Buttoni asked as he brandished the 4 decimeter long dildo menacingly. "You bloody pervert!" Helga cried, "I thought you meant a shoe!" and she slapped him round the face and stormed out.
"Feisty," Buttoni observed ruefully. "Wonderful," Charming sighed, "Maybe we should have slayed a dragon." "Yes," Buttoni agreed, "Or maybe we are on the wrong tack?" Just then a beautiful young girl stepped into the shop, "Is this where we try the slipper on?" she asked, "Only Mummy sent me." "Actually it's a dildo," Buttoni explained somewhat bluntly.
"Really?" she gasped, "I did wonder where I lost mine." "What?" Charming asked. "Oh yes my good friend Charlotte and I exchanged Dildoes last winter at the Winterfest, and I lost mine." the girl admitted. "Your good friend?" Buttoni asked. "Oh yes we shared a room at school, and a bed milf real estate agent bangs huge dick cold nights." the girl explained, "But since I lost my dildo I have to get my maid Hetta to fist me when I get PMT." Charming looked unsteady on his feet, a blood vessel in his forehead pulsed wildly, "Your highness, are you all right?" the girl asked.
"He has just cum in his pants," Buttoni explained, "He has this problem." "It really doesn't matter I'm gay too!" the girl admitted, "Can I try it?" "Yes why not." Charming agreed. "You're Prince Charming aren't you?" the girl declared.
"Why are you wearing such a stupid disguise?" "He is shy," Buttoni explained, "But really why would you want to try a dildo when you're gay?" "Why not, I don't fancy men, he doesn't fancy women, sounds perfect!" the girl explained, "And with a nice big dildo to play with even better." "Well then," Butoni produced the glass dildo from a sack and suggested, "What do you think of that?" "My god!" the girl agreed, "It's huge!" Her eyes were wide with greed as Buttoni handed it to her, "It's sooo much nicer than mine!" she said.
"So lovely and smooth!" She looked round, "You don't expect; You're not going to watch are you? You filthy swine! Hot cuties ream the biggest belt cocks and spray semen everywhere splattering and monstercock at least lock the door first." And with that she sat down on the floor, pulled up her voluminous skirts and underskirts and began to gently rub her clit.
"Do you have to watch?" she asked. "Absolutely," Buttoni insisted as the girl tried to get a finger up inside herself. "Oh well do something useful then, can you suck my titties?" she asked as she undid the lacing on her bodice to reveal her impressive boobies. Buttoni bent to the task, "And you, I do have two of them." she reminded them. "One each." The Prince too leaned over the girl and began to suck her nipple.
"Ohhh that's sooo good!" she cooed as first one then two fingers slipped inside her moistening cunt. "That's russian luba get horny and shows everything fingers," she said, "Keep on." She was frigging herself urgently now, four fingers slipped inside her, then the whole of her tiny hand as she fisted herself.
The girl gasped. "Hetta usually takes over now, she has a bigger hand than me, but can we try it?" Buttoni reached for the dildo and handed it to the girl. She pressed it against her cunt but it barely penetrated at all. Even though her cunt was dilated enough to take her fist the dildo was much too wide to go more than 3 centimeters inside her. "I need some lube." she said. "Do you have any?" "Princy boy has probably cum in his pants by now if cum would help?" Buttoni suggested between sucks.
"Er yes." Prince Charming agreed as he dropped his breeches. "Help yourself." The girl looked at Charming's long pink pole. A small drop of pre cum glistened on his cock end, "Er sorry," Charming apologised.
"False alarm." The girl smeared pre cum over the dildo. "Why don't you shoot your load over the dildo to really lubricate it?" she suggested. "Why doesn't he stick it in you and really lubricate you, stretch your cunt and all that?" Buttoni suggested. "Because he's gay darling, everyone knows that!" the girl explained. "Damn you!" Prince Charming exclaimed.
"I am not gay, look I'll show you." He lunged forward, tripped over his breeches and fell over the girl forcing her backwards and almost bashing her head on the floor. "Ummm, you smell like a girl," she whispered as he fumbled around repeatedly poking her with his cock until he finally found her cunt.
His tool slipped easily into her velvety snatch.
He luxuriated in her warmth. It was like fucking a whore without having to watch the clock or pay for it. "Oi get on with it!" the girl complained, "Shoot your load and let your page have a go!" "Be quiet I was enjoying that!" Charming exclaimed.
"You're not supposed to enjoy it," the girl complained, "Another ten minutes then all right?" Charming was not too sure he could hold on for ten minutes. The mountains of Bavaria swept through his mind. He was an Eagle soaring above the roof tops. He was in heaven with the angels. He was swimming in the Rhine.
He was cumming. A glorious torrent of cum burst from his cock and saturated her parts. "Ohhhhh." he gasped. "Oooooohhhh," she responded. "Will it fit?" Buttoni asked, "Or shall I have a go?" "Of course it wont fit you moron," the girl explained, "Look I'm gay.
I lost my virtue to a girl. Now that I've been fucked by the Prince in front of witnesses, I'm home free." "What? you wanted me to fuck you?" Prince Charming demanded. "Give the boy an apple, got it in one.," the girl replied. "Do you have no respect for hot russian natasha entertained before hard fuck at all?" Charming enquired. "No. None." she replied. "Buttoni, your knife please," Charming asked.
"What do you want that for?" the girl asked. "Why to enlarge your cunt if you can't take the dildo." he replied. "All right, I'll try again." she agreed but no matter what position she tried it in she could not force it more than 5 centimeters inside her.
It was no good. It was far too large.
"You have twenty four hours." Charming insisted. "But how?" she pleaded. "Its up to you." Charming insisted, "Send the others away. You fetch your overnight bag. Buttoni you mind the shop." The girl quickly rearranged her clothing and went to the door. "Where does that jeweller work?" Prince Charming asked.
"Why in Wisebaden Strasse," Buttoni replied, "But why?" "One glass dildo, a lot thinner, get the idea?" the Prince suggested. "But why, there are still lots of cunts to stretch?" Buttoni asked in horror. "I like that one," Prince Charming declared, "Anyway, let's see if she is stupid enough to come back. "Errr," the girl said, "There's quite a queue." Buttoni went little girl and grandpa sex the door, he let the girl out and slammed the door quickly.
"Mine gott, they stretch to the town square." "Right," Prince Charming agreed, "We need a franchise." "What?" Buttoni asked. "Lookalikes who look like me could take turns to take my place!" Prince Charming suggested excitedly. "And where do you find these people?" Buttoni asked. "I don't.
You do," Prince Charming laughed. "You have an hour, put the closed for lunch sign up." Buttoni sneaked out the back door and headed for the Bier-Hause.
He had a few pints of schnapps for Prussian Courage and headed for the Guards Barracks. He went to the mess and quickly recruited not only four stand ins for the prince but a complete royal body guard for only a months pay from each. Meanwhile Prince Charming introduced a nominal administration fee for every girl who tried the dildo and set up a till on the shop counter and a list of the scale of charges, including try twice get a third try free!
Within the hour Buttoni sneaked back in the back way and Prince Charming sneaked out and left them to it. Even the excitement of watching young ladies trying to stuff a 400 millimeter dildo up their cunts pales after a while and within the month most of the guardsmen had gone back to blonde busty lesbians and hot shower sex barracks as girl after girl ruined their virtue trying to fuck a lump of glass.
Sweet hairless pink cunts, big hairy cunts, neatly trimmed pubes, untidy overgrown bushes, some with nicks from shaving. Shy young girls, raddled old hags, the eager, the shy, those coerced, not one could get the monster even half way up.
Finally the queue dwindled and Buttoni shut up shop and returned to the palace to count the money. The king was delighted, the queen exasperated and so life returned to normal with Prince Charming sneaking down the brothel every Tuesday Thursday and Saturday and poking the cook most mornings.
The queen despaired of marrying Prince Charming off but one Sunday there was a commotion at the palace gate. The pikesmen on guard duty were barring entry to an irate young woman. "Let me in!" a girl screamed. "That Prince Charming bastard got me pregnant!" Prince Charming wandered down to the gate. "That's him!" the girl howled. "You're the girl from the shop!" he exclaimed. "Six damned times I paid to try that damned dildo and you were not there once!" she snarled.
"Did it fit?" he asked. "No!" she snapped, "Of coures it didn't and I got pregnant!" "Is it mine?" he asked. "Either that or it's immaculate conception, of course it is!" she snapped.
"Fair enough," Prince Charming agreed, "Let her in, you had better meet mother." "What just like that?" she exclaimed. "You haven't met mother," he explained He took the girl to his mother's sitting room, "Ah mother I am afraid I have made this girl pregnant," he announced. "Really, and what is her name?" the queen asked.
"No idea," Prince Charming admitted. "Typical," the girl sighed, "It's Ella, my friends call me Cinders because I'm red hot!" "Oh god you're a lesbian!" the queen gasped. "I was," she admitted, "It's hard to be hot when you're throwing up every morning." "And this is your intended?" the queen asked.
"Well lets face it," Prince Charming declared, "When the child comes out there is little doubt the dildo will go back in." "Dildo, what dildo?" the queen asked. "Its this big round," the girl said as she described the size with her hands, "And this long." "And what pray do you see in this, this slut!" the queen asked.
"She is disrespectful, headstrong, likes women so she's unlikely to get off with a footman, she's ideal queen material," he declared. "So you think I'm headstrong, disrespectful and unlikely to chase footmen do you?" the queen enquired. "Well two out of three isn't bad," he laughed rather inappropriately. "Oh well, if you must!" the queen admitted, "So, ah Cinders, what do big boob colt 45 big boobs like about my son?" "He's loaded," she admitted.
"Mummy said I should give it a go. Actually he smells like a girl and I really liked it when he fucked me." "Oh, that's good." Prince Charming agreed. "We don't say 'Fuck' in the palace dear," the queen explained, "We say 'Make love' much less messy don't you think? So, Cinders, when did you think of getting married?" "Married? no way!" the girl insisted, "I just want child support." "Well I'm sorry but we don't do that," the queen insisted, "We are rather old fashioned so either you marry Charming or we lock you in the dungeon and beat you and starve you until you're not pregnant any more." "Oh well in that case," she said resignedly, "I suppose I will have to give it some serious thought." "Actually it's my night for the brothel, how about we get a take away Knackwurst and stay in and watch the servants fornicating instead." Prince Charming suggested.
"Yes dear excellent idea!" the queen agreed. "Not you mother, Cinders!" Prince Charming suggested. "And if I don't?" Cinders asked. The queen looked askance at the girl, "We will get the take away and watch the servants fornicating you, two, maybe three at a time?" "Men or girls?" she asked. "Men, girls, horses, dogs, the penguin from the zoo," the queen explained, "Good god girl half the girls in the kingdom want to bed my Charming." "All right, but no funny brokenteens vanessa kim twists her body for a big cock hardcore and flexible the girl agreed.
"Absolutely," Prince Charming confirmed, "Just straight missionary would be good." "You are not fucking me again!" the girl insisted. "Not fucking dear, making love, it sounds natasha malkova ana mia malkova xxx much nicer," the queen insisted. "You liked it last time," Prince Charming reminded her. "Only because you smell like a girl," she explained. "Very fastidious my Charming, a bath every Friday and clean underpants every week," the queen confirmed, "Anyway where is this famous dildo, it does sound rather fun?" Prince Charming and the girl looked at each other and burst out laughing.
And they all lived happily ever after. Well the girl wasn't pregnant after all, something Charming rapidly put right, Buttoni got some backers to put up 1000 guilders for the first unmarried girl to get the dildo up and he made quite a decent business out of it, girls paying to try it, men paying to watch.
The jeweller never did get paid and the smaller dildo he made is probably still in stock. Buttoni married Cinder's friend Charlotte after he had a bath, doused himself in Eau de Koln and basically jumped her one night. The queen had a replica glass dildo made in bonze which she greatly enjoys and the king spends his time talking to his plants in the garden and meddling in politics like kings do.
And therein lies the moral of this tale, if you want to pull, have a bath and wear clean underpants